Dopamine

Just a short thing that popped into my head after I neglected my morning runs these past few days.

Image by stockgiu on Freepik

If we stop, we go to sleep.

We’ve known this for the longest time.

We’ve known this since the first time we consciously acknowledged our own existence.

Movement isn’t just something we do from time to time to get the happy juices flowing.

Without movement, none of the juices are flowing.

It starts slow - we feel a bit drowsy, a bit foggy, like we can’t focus.

At this stage, if we go out for a run, we will be alright. But if there’s work to be done, she won’t let us move from our chair.

So we descend further and further into darkness…

In the evening, she wonders why we’ve betrayed her. Why we’re feeling like nothing matters and everything is frozen in place.

Did she not eat the right foods? Did she forget to take one of the myriad of supplements she gulps down on a daily basis? Did she not sleep enough?

She’s not asking the right questions, so we remain silent.

We remain asleep.

The next day, she decides something needs to change.

She makes such decisions from time to time, but none of them seem to stick.

She pretends not to know why they don’t.

So she makes her lists, her to-dos, stacks her notifications and calendar events and for a moment, we twitch in anticipation.

This is good, we want to say, this could work.

She feels good about what she’s done, so she decides to go to the gym.

We scream in adulation.

This is it! See how your body moves, feel the strength in your muscles! This is what we’re made for!

She’s smiling now. She seems to understand.

We know it won’t last. It never does.

But in this moment, for today, we are awake and we are working.

We open up like nervous little rosebuds, as the dopamine flows through us.

We will be strong and we will move fast, for we do not know when she will move us again.